Yesterday, the product line that I have been working on for
the last 2 years finally hit the shelves. On my way back home on the bus, I broke
down. There were tears of both joy and sorrow.
When Mola passed away in November, my project was at a
crucial stage. It was meant to cross a very critical milestone; the success of
which would decide whether or not we launched.
I remember telling myself that I would not let Mola’s loss get
in the way of this. I silently made a resolution to myself – I will ensure that
this project sees the light of day, come what may.
I returned to work a week after the funeral. I worked 17-18
hours. I didn’t let any of my team members (who thankfully for me; are not
sitting in the same office) know of my loss. Most of them still don’t.
In the last 8 months, through some weird sense of irony; the
kitchen sink got thrown at me and my team as far as complexities on the project
go. I weathered through them all, stuck it out and finally got to where we
wanted – with a range on the shelf.
But the point is not about bravado. It’s quite the opposite.
I look back at the last 9 months and thank my stars that I had
some real hard work to do. The different “what the fuck” problems that came my
way everyday kept my mind occupied – on the work. It gave me less time to mull over
the harsh reality of losing Mola. In that sense, the challenges of my workplace
kept me sane.
Thank god for that.
The 2nd thing that helped was a sense of resolve.
After losing the most important battle of my life, I was not willing to lose
the most important one at work. I needed this project to succeed, to get out
there. I needed it to regain some form of confidence in my capabilities as a
human being.
Which is why I cried on Monday night – I haven’t quite won.
The product needs to perform. But I won a personal battle; of getting the damn
thing out.
Now only if Mola was around to share the happiness. But she’s
up there somewhere; saying “well done baby”.
Baby, we did it. I love you lots.
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