In the past few months, I have managed to compartmentalize
my grief. It is put aside for my time alone. During the regular work days and
weekends, I have learnt to operate with a level of normalcy. Earlier, I had to
make a serious effort to look and feel normal but now it comes more naturally.
But yesterday, during a live music performance, the
compartment of grief was breached. The singer sung this song:-
Lag ja gale ki phir ye
hasin raat ho na ho
shaayad phir is janam
men mulaaqaat ho na ho
lag jaa gale se
ham ko mili hain aaj,
ye ghadiyaan nasib se
ji bhar ke dekh lijiye
ham ko qarib se
phir aap ke nasib men
ye baat ho na ho
phir is janam men
mulaaqaat ho na ho
lag ja gale ki phir ye
hasin raat ho na ho
Within the 1st few lines, I was crying
inconsolably. Since the lights were out, the tears were not apparent but the
truth is that for the first time, my grief came out in public.
The writing is so real and such a true reflection of what I feel.
The reality that things were normal in one instant and shattered in the next. That
I thank my stars for all the memories that I had with Mola because now there
won’t be anymore.
Life’s like that, I guess. You make the most of what you
share with each other, because there is no guarantee that it will last.
I know it’s true but I wish it weren’t.
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